



Ham-Cured Cramps
REWIND SERIES: REINTRODUCING HAM CURED CRAMPS
We're releasing an oldie but a goodr. A remix, reboot, revival, re-whatever, of a classic pair. We designed these shades to look good and fit comfortably on your face whether you’re doing the neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt or running some Pre-Easter dinner treadmill miles. You asked for seconds, get your fill while you can!!!
Made For

running
Great For

beasting

biking
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS
Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).


BONUS: THEY'RE GUARANTEED TRICHINOSIS-FREE!!!
This spring, Carl the Flamingo suggested that we should start selling goodr Farms Medicinal Hams on our website. He was enraged when the FDA said we had to put a label on them that said, "This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease." Carl said that was "TOTAL bullsh*t!!! EVERYONE knows that HAM CURES CRAMPS!!!" (Carl also insists that it increases his libido. We're not convinced the ham is responsible.) Luckily, we were able to get him to compromise by offering these Ham Cured Cramps sunnies instead.*
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA.