Beasts in the Colosseum
LIMITED EDITION: BEAST SERIES
So what if you never got to prove yourself in the Colosseum in Ancient Rome. It's time to stop obsessing about the past. Like, you weren't even alive then... Right?! (If you were alive then, please DM us. Carl the Flamingo will pay handsomely for the secret to eternal life. He also kindly asks that you not eat his tongue. Sorry. He can't be too careful when dealing with Ancient Romans' affinity for flamingo tongues.)
Made For
beasting
Great For
biking
running
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.™️
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS
Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).
TOURIST VIBES
"Here I am,
at The Colosseum,
In Rome, Italy!"
"What the f*ck?!
I thought there was
an athletic competition."
"I DON'T SEE ANY ELITE ATHLETES
COMPETING IN TESTS OF FITNESS!!!
ALL I SEE ARE TOURISTS TAKING
PHOTOS OF A CRUMBLING EYESORE!!!"
"Seriously, this place is a dump.
What a waste of time!!!
I was so excited!!!
I came all the way here,
hoping to see..."
Beasts in the Colosseum.