Flamites, God of Flamingos
Mirrored Reflective Lenses
For Regular or Wider Heads
Best for Running Laps Around Mortals
LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS
Who is the god of flamingos, shrimp, and Piña Coladas? It's Flamites, God of Flamingos. Duh!!! He's the only deity we worship here at goodr. (Just don't tell Carl the Flamingo that. He considers himself a god.) Flamites makes it rain shrimp around our office on the reg, it kinda reeks but we don't say anything because we don't want him to turn us into crustaceans and then eat us. He was the inspo for these gorgeous, colorful stone-inspired sunnies.
Made For
running
Great For
beasting
biking
LOOK GOOD, FLY GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
*Not tested at hypersonic speed, but…we’re pretty sure.
3 ALL POLARIZED
The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 ALL SPEED
An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition.
5 FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP
Included with purchase.
INTRODUCING FLAMITE, GOD OF FLAMINGOS
You probably never learned about this deity when you learned about Greek mythology...
He’s the god of flamingos, shrimp, hyper-sexuality, kleptomania, Piña Coladas, & the REAL god of orgies...
Do you know who he is?!
If you guessed that it’s Carl the Flamingo...
YOU’RE WRONG!!!
Although Carl does consider himself a god among men, we’re actually talking about...
Flamites, God of Flamingos